Capital NVC

Where:  Takoma Park, MD

What:  A few years ago I often found myself asking "Why can't we talk?' or "Why won't he listen?" and sometimes even "What's wrong with me/them/us?"  These are pretty big questions but I started getting some answers when I went to my first Nonviolent Communication (NVC) workshop. 

For our last meeting before the holidays, our Baltimore monthy workshop will use the Four-Ears exercise and focus on connecting empathically with ourselves and another when we are in a difficult situation.  Since connecting empathically with another is rooted in self-connection, we will spend part of our time on self-empathy practices.

This meeting is something between a practice group and a workshop -- come once because the topic interests you or come every month for practice and connection. 

I offer a workshop and practice once a month in Baltimore.  For my September offering, I will use the "Transforming the Illusion of 'Conflicting Needs'" exercise from the "Compassion Is and Inside Job" workshop led by Jeff Brown and Bob Wentworth in 2009.  

The phrase "Illusion of Conflicting Needs" triggers a "Whoa/Huh?" type of response in many of us.  Well, bring your example and we'll see what we can do.

I offer a workshop and practice once a month in Baltimore.  My August offering will be based on the "Transforming Core Jackal Beliefs" exercise from the "Compassion Is and Inside Job" workshop led by Jeff Brown and Bob Wentworth in 2009. 

A core jackal belief is a simple, powerful belief about oneself or the world which often operates at an unconscious level. Some examples:

This Baltimore group is a hybrid - a core group meets one Sunday afternoon a month in the Park Heights area for an NVC workshop and practice. To help orient "newbies" we usually spend about half an hour focusing on NVC principles. It's no surprise to "oldies" that this adds depth to our understanding too.  Usually the specific date and topic is announced in the Events section of the website.

The workshop fee is $15, requested only if given with comfort.

I once did an NVC exercise aimed at identifying the need in a situation so that I could frame a request.  My story was a fairly common one: I shared space with a loved one who 'didn't do his share' of cleanup. Doing the exercise, I first thought my need was order..

An entry in Conal Elliott's Blog starts off:

Our Baltimore group meets one Sunday a month for an NVC workshop and practice. To help orient "newbies" we usually spend about half an hour focusing on NVC principles. It's no surprise to "oldies" that this adds depth to our understanding too.

This month we will review the NVC model and then practice with Dance Floors.

NVC Dance Floors (tm), were developed by Gina Lawrie and Bridget Belgrave, certified NVC trainers in the UK. Here is the description on their website:

Holidays can be rich experiences, giving us a chance to play and to re-connect with loved ones – but sometimes things go awry: We may see others’ expectations as demands, feeling forced into roles we do not wish to play.. We may find family members' stories boring or insulting, or their political views intolerable.. Maybe we’re in a bad patch, and don’t really want to celebrate.. Or perhaps a loved one seems unwilling to connect.

This month we will look at difficult holiday scenarios and see how the NVC tools of empathy and self-empathy can transform them.

Nonviolent communication theory tells us that human beings enjoy contributing to each other. It's a nice idea -- I know it's true. So why do my requests frequently not "land"? I hear "later" or maybe "If that's the way you feel about it...", I feel discouraged and may even find myself in a fight.